2.14.2006

Global Awareness vs. Alcohol Abuse


You tell them, Mr. Fantasdick!

Before I report on all the rampant chicanery that has been afoot within the empire, I should like to, of course, note the special day of this post. Obviously it's Valentine's Day. In contrast to what most people believe, I absolutely love VD. Why, it's positively infectious! Honestly, I'll be celebrating VD with renewed vigor this year. We at the $tevil Empire hope that you all have a lovely VD. If you don't, just let me know and I'll be happy to help your VD in any way I can. It's like we always say around here on this day - VD: Spread The Love!

You know, today's not just a day where we celebrate love by buying overpriced confections for one another while exploring the many, multi-faceted ways of making light of Venereal Disease. No, today's celebrations are as multitudinous as a large box of chocolates. For instance, it's the birthday of not only 20/20 host, Hugh Downsyndrome (God dammit I wish that was his true name), but it's also the birthday of Frank Weller, the voice behind Megatron, Soundwave, Krulos: Lord of the Rulon Dino Riders, and of course Doctor Fucking Claw!! Actually, if his name was Doctor "Fucking" Claw, it would add a whole new element to Inspector Gadget... or should I say, Inspect-HER Gadget? Okay, I'll stop.

Finally, today we celebrate the admission of Oregon into these, our United States of America. For more about Oregon, specifically where to find the very best glory holes and most discreet public bath-houses, check out Warregon's site. There, now that we've gotten all of the references to past pop culture, questionable jokes about homosexuality and inappropriate comments about physical deformity out of the way, let's get on with the...


Shut The Fuck Up-dates
1. The Katy Going Away Party: In celebratory mourning (you know, like the Irish) of Katy's imminent departure (aka-$teve-0's least favorite day ever), we stuffed the insides of FRANK hard and full with all of our party members. Items of note:
  • Katy's Drunken Stupor
  • Sean's Face (stranger than usual)
  • The Flip Cup Final: Team Britain vs. Team Mexico
  • Rampant Kamikazes
  • Katy's Drunken Stupor continuing unabated

In short, a fun time was had by all... especially Katy. Did I mention she was hammered? She's learned so much in the last 5 months. I just... I feel so proud. Many thanks to all who came in the spirit of the day, and to those that just really wanted to get drunk... Katy, I'm looking in your direction.

2. MERIP Event: On a completely different track, Katy and I attended her internship's fundraising event on Saturday. The Middle Eastern Research and Information Project (MERIP) is a non-governmental magazine devoted for the past 32 years to giving a true account of the Middle East with thoughtful analysis independent of the largely biased mainstream media. Katy's been interning with them ever since she's been here and has loved the experience thus far. The event held on Saturday took place at one of mine and Katy's favorite left-wing restaurants, Busboys and Poets. It was one of the coolest nights we've had, for the following reasons:
  • Foodstuffs - The food was bangin' harder than your mom on coke. In the middle of the event hall, there was a table laden with Middle Eastern goodies. There was humous, tabouleh, falafel and soujouk (sausages that make Jimmy Dean look like a chump). They also had an open bar of beer and wine. That + Me = Happy.
  • The Iron Sheik - Not to be confused with the professional wrestler of the same name, this Palestinian rapper dropped the hotness, spittin' fresh rhymes over dope beats, f'real. Word life, son. Honestly, dude was hilarious and actually had a lot of good things to say about the treatment of Palestine and the global misunderstanding about the Arab community. Plus he rapped about impeaching the fuck out of Bush, so he gets two very enthusiastic thumbs up from yours truly.
  • Suheir Hammad - You might have seen this INCREDIBLE Brooklyn-born, Palestinian-American poet when you clicked past HBO's Def Poetry Jam in your seemingly endless search for soft-core porn on Cinemax, you fucking pervert. The Katy and I were lucky enough to not only watch her perform, but also to get a signed copy of her new book, Zaatar Diva, which is understandably getting rave reviews. I won't go into it too much because I'll sound cheesy, but this was by far one of the most riveting performances I've ever seen. Honestly, I don't remember being so rivetted. She was also really fucking cool and very down to earth. Check out her stuff, you won't be disappointed... unless you're an asshole.

So yeah, it was an amazing time. I'm kind of impressed we made it there and back, since it was potentially life-threatening outside, what with the falling snow, gale-force winds, thick ice and holographic lions. I swear to god, if I get attacked by one more animal magically comprised of mystic energy and futuristic technology, I'll... well, I don't know what I'll do, but it'll most likely be mildly annoying!! Fucking Visionaries, you know?

Well, that's it for now. So, until next time, I leave you with words once told me by a great and wise sage: "Most people think of their body as a temple, but I see mine as a dictionary. Just check out this definition."

Love,

$-0

27 Comments:

Blogger ekrobi said...

Steven! I didn't know you kids hung out at Busboys and Poets. I dig that place. You ought to CALL ME when you're in the DC, punk.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Waan said...

What the fuck? Welcome to the United States? I was here well before you were even a corn-studded lump in your mom's colon. And speaking of bathhouse tours, I'm sure you could provide equal content on your blog if you keep frequenting places like "Busboys and Poets". Did you really have to bring Katy into this?

7:26 PM  
Blogger $teve-0 said...

See, I can't even read what you wrote. It's obvious that you've got a hard, throbbing member firmly gripped in each hand and are actually typing by slamming your forehead down on the keyboard. Sure, to the untrained eye it looks like a string of rational and cohesive thoughts, but I know the truth. The wet, sloppy truth.

Oh speaking of which, I'll see you at the men's room at exit 45, right? Bring chapstick. You're definitely gonna need it, pretty mouth.

5:17 AM  
Anonymous map of consciousness said...

How is Everyting in YOUR LIFE... Waste your money and your only out your money,but waste your time and your out part of your life... Michael Leoboeuf

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar hair cut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair... Sam Ewing

If You Find a need to become part of the map of consciousness so you make a few extra bucks.. go to http://7day2success.com/ ....map of consciousness...map of consciousness....

Live a better life today..

5:36 PM  
Anonymous mystical said...

How is Everyting in YOUR LIFE... Waste your money and your only out your money,but waste your time and your out part of your life... Michael Leoboeuf

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar hair cut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair... Sam Ewing

If You Find a need to become part of the mystical so you make a few extra bucks.. go to http://7day2success.com/ ....mystical...mystical....

Live a better life today..

2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello! This post could not be written any better! Reading through
this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept
chatting about this. I will forward this post to him.
Fairly certain he will have a good read. Many thanks for sharing!
Here is my homepage illinoisskillsmatch

11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great delivery. Great arguments. Keep up the great spirit.
Take a look at my blog click the next website

1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the good writeup. It in truth used
to be a amusement account it. Glance complicated to
more delivered agreeable from you! By the way, how can we keep in touch?


Here is my website: taobao agent

5:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Terrific article! This is the type of info
that are supposed to be shared around the internet. Disgrace on the search engines
for not positioning this put up upper! Come on over and visit my web site
. Thanks =)

Here is my website - taobao agent

5:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

whoah this blog is great i love studying
your posts. Stay up the good work! You realize,
many persons are searching round for this info, you can help them greatly.


My site Kenny Nordlund graduate education at UCLA

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw, this was a really good post. Spending some time and actual effort to
produce a very good article… but what can I say… I hesitate
a lot and don't seem to get nearly anything done.

Here is my blog post; Kenny Nordlund graduate education at UCLA

1:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect
against hackers? I'm kinda paranoid about losing everything I've worked hard on.
Any suggestions?

my web-site: what to do in chiang mai

10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Appreciation to my father who told me about this web site,
this blog is genuinely awesome.

Also visit my web page; Gonzo Videos Free XXX Videos

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful article. Many thanks for supplying these details.


Feel free to visit my web-site - Creampie Videos Free XXX Videos

4:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure exactly why but this website is loading very slow for me. Is anyone else having this issue or is it a issue on my end? I'll check back
later and see if the problem still exists.

My blog - Free Porn

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

An impressive share! I have just forwarded this
onto a co-worker who had been doing a little research on this.
And he actually ordered me dinner due to the fact that I found it
for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thanks for the meal!
! But yeah, thanx for spending time to discuss this topic here
on your blog.

my blog post :: penetration

7:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If some one needs to be updated with latest technologies
then he must be pay a visit this site and be up to date every day.


Feel free to visit my site: xxx-fuck.net

1:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a information of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious knowledge regarding unexpected feelings.


Visit my web page ... sexygirlchat.net

3:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

May I simply just say what a relief to find somebody who
genuinely knows what they are talking about over the internet.

You actually understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important.
A lot more people must read this and understand this side of
the story. I was surprised that you're not more popular because you surely have the gift.

My web blog - xxxmoviegalls.com

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very quickly this web site will be famous among all blogging visitors, due
to it's good articles or reviews

my homepage :: free free porn sites

10:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you ever considered about including a little bit
more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is
important and all. However just imagine if you added some great pictures or videos to give your posts more, "pop"!
Your content is excellent but with images and clips,
this website could definitely be one of the very best in its
niche. Amazing blog!

Also visit my web site ... teenager pussy movies

10:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello there! This post couldn't be written any better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I most certainly will forward this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

my blog post - http://hotgirlsexcam.com/

4:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog thus i came to
“return the favor”.I'm attempting to find things to improve my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

Stop by my blog free porn file sharing

1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pretty component of content. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital
to say that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
Anyway I will be subscribing in your augment or even I achievement you get admission to persistently
fast.

Also visit my webpage; http://www.latinasexygirls.org

5:36 AM  
Blogger finestglasses said...

Therefore, many night clubs have begun using polycarbonate glasses to serve drinks to customers.

1:29 AM  
Blogger sherry jiang said...

shop online for thousands of Taps, Kitchen Taps, Bathroom Taps, Sinks and Plumbing Fixtures at Plumpinguk.co.uk, sinks, bathroom, kitchen and shower fixtures. FREE SHIPPING on most items. Same day shipping on in stock items

6:40 PM  
Blogger sherry jiang said...

shop online for thousands of Taps, Kitchen Taps, Bathroom Taps, Sinks and Plumbing Fixtures at Plumpinguk.co.uk, sinks, bathroom, kitchen and shower fixtures. FREE SHIPPING on most items. Same day shipping on in stock items.

5:28 PM  

Post a Comment

QUOTE ME!:

Create a Link

<< Home